Tasers

Helen and I like to travel, and over the years we've spent a lot of time away from home.

It was always kind of weird. We'd get a neighbour to keep an eye on things, but it always felt like our home was very vulnerable. A house sitting empty seems to be just asking to get broken into.

Then the internet came along, and it became super important to never mention online when you were going to be away. You never knew who would be paying attention.

We don't have to worry about any of that anymore. Whenever we are going to be gone, we have a lovely couple who jump at the chance to house sit. Their own place is very cute, but tiny, and they don't have cable TV, or Netflix, or wifi.

I never mention their names online, as that might just make their place vulnerable.

If anything, our home is safer with them around than it is with us. I will be heartbroken if this situation ever changes.

There are technological solutions for this sort of thing. Manufacturers produce a zillion types of intelligent camera devices that can scan a home constantly. Perhaps it is possible to hook them up to high-powered lasers or tasers to vanquish intruders.

In any case, we currently have a human option that is a win for everybody involved.