Coot Rules

I’ve figured out a lot of things about my body and exertion that I’m about to share with you.

Most of us have some kind of issues that we have to deal with. Mine is that my carcass is very old for any kind of activity more strenuous than chair sitting, and possibly a leisurely walk.

This causes conflict, as I am a student of Jiu-Jitsu. Something always hurts, or doesn’t work right, or makes internal grinding noises.

I’ve codified what needs to be considered about such a situation into a number of rules.

Rule 1 is to do a warm-up unlike what most people do. I must get my body prepared for the activity. This does not include push ups, or sit ups, or any nonsense like that.

Gentle, non-ballistic movement is good, as is gentle use of the appropriate muscles and joints. I can often be seen softly moving my arms and hips all about.

Rule 2 is that any kind of repetitious large motions are bad.

These pop up whenever we do a group warm-up. The instructor says what we should do, and we try. Sometimes I don’t.

Let’s say some kind of push-ups are called for. If I do even a single one, my left arm will be less able to perform at Jiu-Jitsu than if I do zero. This is too bad, as for most people push-ups are a good muscle building activity.

There is also tremendous pressure to remain part of the group, and to do the push-ups.

Instead. I put my feet out into push-up position, and extend my good arm. Then, tripod-like, I hold myself in place while the class does their exercise. My less able left arm is held to my chest, so it can’t get any ideas into its little arm-brain about getting involved.

I have a whole pile of modifications that I do. The point as I see it is to do some kind of beneficial posture, or movement, without rendering myself less able to do Jiu-Jitsu afterwards.

Rule 3 is to listen to suggestions, but to mostly ignore them.

The reason for this is that advice will often come from people who think they know what the situation is. Maybe they think that they’re really old to be in Jiu-Jitsu also, and base their thoughts logically on their own experience.

I’ve got a news flash, 40-year-olds do not have a clue what I, as a 61-year-old, am dealing with. I would never dream that my condition is the same as somebody in their 80’s.

It’s even worse when somebody in their 20s thinks they have something to share with me about how I should handle aging and exercise.

There is a Purple Belt woman down in LA training with the Gracies who is totally blind. Her experience is nothing the same as somebody who is legally blind, but who can see. I used to have perfect vision, but now have to wear glasses. Does that mean I have anything to teach her about her experience? I think not.

In Jiu-Jitsu terms, she is the equivalent of a Gracie when it comes to blind Jiu-Jitsu, and perhaps I am a Gracie when it comes to old-man Jiu-Jitsu.

Let’s say the warm-up thing is a string of back rolls across the gym. I don’t do that. Often, a youngster will explain to me that if I would roll over my shoulder all would be dandy. At that point, I want to kick them in the nuts.

I can do back rolls, and usually do them without any problem. I do them in training, when required by a technique. I do not do strings of them as a warm up.

Let’s say I do the 20 back rolls and manage to do so without issue. What have I gained? Let’s say I do almost all of them, and then do one slightly off kilter due to muscle fatigue induced by doing a string in rapid succession. I go slightly off track, my neck makes a noise, and I’m hooped for the next few weeks.

The upside was really nothing, and the potential risk very real. It wasn’t that I don’t know how to do them, as has been suggested to me several times by barely-able-to-vote youngsters, who have all interestingly happened to have less experience in Jiu-Jitsu than me, as reflected by their significantly lower rank.

That is just one example.

Even people who are older, perhaps in their 40s, often suggest some sort of strength-building exercise they like that is less stressful on the body. Very nice, but I don’t want strength-building exercises.

For me, exercise is to get my body ready to do the class which is about to start. I loosen, I move, I bend. I do not move quickly, or overload my muscles, or try and break a sweat.

Rule 4 act like a know-it-all old coot.

At my current age, I am willing to judge stuff, then act on that judgement, or not act. When I don’t do that, I have learned that there will be damage.

Therefore I judge everything I am asked to do. Some I won’t do at all, and others I change. I’ve developed a form of Three Stooges side floor run when a back roll is indicated, but not absolutely necessary. It does the job, and has the added benefit of making me look ridiculous.

Rule 5 is to have fun.